My Femme Resume: Matching Lipstick to Dildos

A couple of days ago, I was talking with blogger pals Caitlin, Artemisia, and GJ about what our femme resumes would look like. Mine included “magical ability to make lipstick last for hours, through food and drink” and “looks great in many shades, from bright red to black lipstick.” That evening, I received my Tantus vintage toys in the mail, and immediately noticed something very important: I could exactly match two of my new dildos to some of my lipsticks. Come to think of it, I could match quite a few of my beautiful, vibrant toys to some fantastic shades in my lipstick collection. After a quick test run that night, I realized that matching lipstick to dildos would most certainly be at the top of my femme resume, and I set out to work on this post.

Welcome to my visual femme resume!

Continue reading past the photos for details on each look!


Look 1 – Dildo: Tantus Clover; Lipstick: Mac Matte in Royal

I love this mini-sized dildo! Its sparkly shine fits my #femmeaesthetic, and the lipstick is a perfect match. I recently wore this lipstick out to an alien party at the local queer bar. The dildo is part of Tantus’ vintage collection, and I just couldn’t pass it up.

Look 2 – Dildo: Tails and Portholes Nereid; Lipsticks: Mac Amplified in Up The Amp + Mac Matte in Royal

This dual-density dildo is to die for. Tails and Portholes is an independent Etsy shop, and while the owner, Brandie, isn’t currently taking custom orders, I highly recommend that you follow her on Twitter to stay up-to-date with her work. There are so many colors in this dildo, so figuring out how to represent all of them in my lipstick choices was a hard task! I ended up using Up The Amp for that beautiful purple and lightly blotting Royal in the center of my lips so I could include the Nereid’s brilliant blue.

Look 3 – Dildo: Tantus VIP; Lipsticks: NYX Lip Primer in Deep Nude, Buxom Matte in Defiant Bloom

Another vintage Tantus dildo! Out of all the looks, I only felt out of my comfort zone with this one. I usually don’t wear light lipstick and prefer to stick to my reds and blacks, but I recently bought this lipstick along with a couple of other Buxom Matte shades. I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but it matches the VIP pretty well!

Look 4 – Dildo: Vixen Creations Woody Vibe; Lipstick: Sephora Luster Matte in Scarlet Luster

The Woody is the non-dual-density version of my favorite dildo, the VixSkin Mustang. (Technically the Woody is a vibrator, as you can insert a bullet into its base, but I only ever use it as a non-vibrating toy.) And how can I not love this lipstick?! This shade of red is my signature look. I wear a similar shade almost every day (I have about 15 red lipsticks…#femmelife) and people are confused when I show up somewhere without red lipstick on.

Look 5 – Dildo: Hole Punch Toys Fluke; Lipsticks: Ulta Fuschia Fever, Kat Von D Everlasting Liquid Lipstick in L.U.V.

Those. COLORS. What else is there to say? I mean, really. I had so much fun crafting this look! I used Fuschia Fever on my top lip and L.U.V. on my bottom lip, then lightly rubbed them together in the center to create a gradient look.

Look 6 – Vibrator: Doxy Die Cast; Lipsticks: Make Up For Ever Rouge Artist Intense in Satin Black, NYX Liquid Suede in Stone Fox

Wands are my favorite kind of sex toy, so you know I had to get one in this post somehow. I LOVE my Die Cast: it’s a gorgeous powerhouse. I used Satin on my top lip and Stone Fox on my bottom lip to reflect the Die Cast’s black silicone head and silver handle.

Thanks for reading my femme resume! What’s on your femme resume? What was your favorite look out of these six? Let me know in the comments!

  • How do you like the Hole Punch toy? I’ve been obsessed with it on Smitten Kitten but haven’t bought one yet…wanted to try the CJ Hooker and was just getting ready to pull the trigger but they’d sold out, so now I wait!