Last week, three truly lovely people I admire in the sex blogging world – Emmeline Peaches, Miss Ruby Reviews, and Kinky Kitten – nominated me for a Real Neat Blog Award! I was shocked when I received my first nomination, and even more so when I got my second and third. My website has only been up and running for a little over three weeks, so I feel quite honored to be nominated! I’ve been blown away by the truly amazing and supportive community I’ve found since I started my blog and incredibly thankful to all of those who nominated for the Real Neat Blog Award.
For folks who don’t know about the Real Neat Blog Award, it gives you all, my wonderful readers, a chance to know a bit more about me, how I came to be a blogger, and what I envision for the future of my website. A couple of the nominations I received featured different questions, so I’ve tried my best to combine those nominations here while still keeping things relatively short and sweet. I hope you all enjoy!
1) Why did you start blogging?
I started blogging to give myself a platform to express myself in a way I could never do before. I’ve worked for sexuality-focused companies and written extensively about sexuality and sex education in college, but I never had a safe space (and a brave space) that was all my own before I started Formidable Femme. This desire to carve out my own corner of the internet was borne out of a personal pleasure-based journey I’ve been on for the past year or so in an attempt to reclaim my sexuality after an abusive relationship. I was so inspired by the countless amazing sex bloggers I was reading day in and day out. When I finally realized that this was something I could do too, it didn’t take me long to purchase a domain name and get to work on setting up my site.
2) If your site had a goal, what would it be? How do you feel you’re doing with that goal, right now? How do you feel you’ve done with that goal over all?
Well, as I’ve only been blogging for a little over three weeks, I’m not as far along with my goals as I’d like to be. However, my overall goal is to offer a unique lens on sex toys and sex blogging in general through the lens of my intersectional identities – as a queer femme woman, as a survivor, and as someone living with a mental illness. While I’ve only posted a couple of reviews so far to get started, I want to get in touch with those intersectional identities through not only how I feel about (and use) sex toys, but also in a “Personal Musings” section where I discuss my thoughts about sexuality, gender, and feminism. I love writing reviews, but I’m really looking forward to writing about social justice issues as well. So far I think I’m doing pretty well with my goals considering how young my site is! (I also want to work on building an educational section of my website beyond the content I include in reviews or musings, but that’ll be a work in progress. Ideally, it would be focused on sexuality education as it relates to the intersectional identities I mentioned above.)
3) How has blogging influenced your life?
Again, even though I’ve only been blogging for a short amount of time, it’s already influenced my life in profound ways. On the night I bought my domain name and began to set up Formidable Femme, I felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders. Just having a place to call my own was incredibly freeing, and I felt so comforted by taking that first step. Over the past few weeks, that freeing feeling has only gotten stronger – I feel more empowered than ever before about my sexuality, my queerness, and my femmeness. Having a shareable, interactive safe space is amazing!
4) What is your favorite part of blogging?
My favorite part about blogging is the extremely welcoming, open, and supportive community I’ve found over the past few weeks. Everyone in the sex blogging world is unbelievably helpful and willing to get new bloggers up and running by giving them as many tools, tips, and tricks as possible to help them succeed. There’s no competition here – only love, support, and mutual understanding. I was surprised to be welcomed with such open arms, but I’m so, so thankful that I was, and every day I’m happy to interact with all the lovely humans in this community. Of course, I also love the educational aspect of sex blogging in general and can’t wait to work a bit more on that part of my website.
5) What website on the entire web, besides your own, do you spend the most time on?
Tumblr! I’ve been super involved on Tumblr for the past six or so years and I think it’s a fantastic place to learn, grow, and cultivate new interests. Tumblr helped me immensely with my coming out process and also helped me find a supportive queer feminist community when I hadn’t yet found one in college. (That being said, if anyone would like the URL for my personal tumblr, just let me know through Twitter or e-mail!) I also spend a lot of time on Twitter, especially my account for Formidable Femme, and Facebook.
6) Are you kinky? How did you come to this conclusion?
I’m still trying to figure this one out!
7) What do you want to be when you grow up?
When I grow up, I want to continue doing the kind of work I’m doing now, just on a larger scale. My roots are in pro-choice activism, queer advocacy, and sexuality education, and are all tied to political work and grassroots organizing. My full-time job is in the reproductive justice movement. In a couple of years, I’d like to go to graduate school for a program that combines all of my passions, so I’ll likely end up studying human sexuality or something politically-based with a focus in women’s, gender, and sexuality studies. We’ll see what happens after that, but ideally I would love to be senior-level staff for a reproductive rights organization. I could also see myself going on to get my PhD and becoming a professor. Only time will tell!
8) What is the most important thing about you that you want everyone to know?
This is supposed to be about me, but I’m making it about you. I want you, dear reader, to know that I think you are worthy, you are loved, and you are enough. For too long, I was made to feel like I was unworthy, unlovable, and inadequate, and I never want anyone else to feel that way. Along with writing reviews and musings, I also want to provide a safe, brave space for my readers to feel accepted, understood, and heard.
Here’s the part where I’m supposed to nominate other folks for the Real Neat Blog Award – however, I’m pretty sure that all of the bloggers I had in mind have already been nominated! (Also, admittedly, I’m a bit late in writing this post – I’ve been moving into my new apartment and then on a beach vacation – so I’ve had some of these folks in mind for the past week or so.) So, while I think all of these wonderful folks have already been nominated (and some even nominated me!), there’s no harm in posting my list anyway: Emmeline Peaches, Artemisia FemmeCock, Sugarcunt, Miss Ruby Reviews, and Bex Talks Sex. You all are fantastic and so deserving of this award!
If you made it to the end of this post, thank you so much! This was such fun to write, and again, I’m incredibly honored to be nominated.